Choden’s Rubber Ducky

Rosa Blau chasing a wave as it washed out to sea

“What’s a turducken Mummy?”

Sybil lowered her very expensive pair of ray-ban sunglasses she found on the beach, or so she said, years ago and decided to keep them for herself. She looked at her youngest daughter, “I have no idea” she replied pushing her sunglasses back up and laying down in her lounge chair and letting out a sigh.

It was a very warm day in early November and both Sybil and George had decided to drag out their lounge chairs and lay on the beach to soak up some of the rays before the sun set around 5pm.

“What’s a turducken, Daddy?” asked Rosa now turning her attention to her father, who was always willing to help his children out, as long it wasn’t with homework. He drew the line there.

George opened his eyes and looked at Rosa standing there in front of him. “It’s a….” he had begun to reply before Sybil interrupted him.

“Don’t you dare, George!” said Sybil without moving her head and certainly not lowering her sunglasses. George, as he had been well trained, shut his beak promptly and offered no other words.

“It’s a chicken, in a duck, in a turkey!” shouted Julia who was busy building a sandcastle with her brother Timmy, the resident Rabbi in training. Sybil lost all the colour in her face and George chuckled. ‘That’s my daughter,’ he thought to himself, ‘always looking to plug the gaps in bad parenting.’

“Julia!” shouted Sybil, again not lifting her head off the lounge chair. Rosa realised she had inadvertently stepped into another family controversy which delighted her.

“Ooh,” Rosa began, “how do you get a……”

“Rosa!” interrupted her mother, but Rosa was not going to be stopped this time.

She continued, “a chicken, into a duck, into a turkey,” and then she stopped briefly not quite sure to whom she was going to direct the question. Sybil at this time had continued trying to get Rosa to stop mid-sentence, but Rosa was adamant in finishing her question. “Daddy?” she completed her question looking at their father. George was in a quandary. He didn’t know what to do.

When he first married Sybil, he thought she was a quiet sandpiper who thought of nothing more than having a peaceful life. However, as soon as he had stepped on the glass and the shouts of ‘mazel tov’ had died down, Sybil, who had received her first peck as a married woman said, “things will have to change around here.” George gulped and knowing there were no divorces in his or her family knew the marriage was for life, and so he decided to focus his attention on building his business and leave any controversial decisions to Sybil. That all went well until their third chick Rosa came along.

Whether Sybil wanted to acknowledge it or not, Rosa had an identical personality to her mother. She would not take no for answer, unless it was accompanied by logical reasoning. Rosa was definitely the most aggressive of the three children. Rosa was also cute. Rosa was adorable, and therefore knew she could get away with just about anything. Not necessarily with her mother though, but definitely with her father. In other words, Rosa was what George longed to be when dealing with Sybil.

It was time for George to step out. It was time for George, a middle aged sandpiper, to step out and carve a place for himself in the world or at least on Topsail Beach. It was what both Moshe and Benne wanted from him. “Well,” he began to the annoyance of Sybil who this time did not lower her ultra expensive ray bans but took them off, believing that a battle royal was about to begin. Julia and Timmy both sensed doom and gloom and so Julia decided she needed to protect the status quo, at least until she had graduated college and was out of the nest.

“They take a small chicken and shove it up the backside of a duck and then shove all that up the backside of a turkey!” Rosa winced, her mother gasped, and Timmy giggled.

“Doesn’t that hurt the duck and turkey?” asked an innocent Rosa.

“No silly,” Timmy needed to get in here, “no silly, they are all dead.”

Sybil threw her head back against the lounge chair. She couldn’t believe she had hatched such terrible chicks. “Why are you asking?” Sybil decided now that the damage had been done, she might as well add to it. “Why are you asking, Rosa dear.”

“Because Thanksgiving is in two weeks and on my unicorn TV show they talked about having a turducken for dinner.”

“Unicorns eat turduckens?” Timmy was astonished. “Isn’t that murder?”

“No not to unicorns,” she replied, “but to us yes. Right mummy?”

‘Thank you Rosa,’ thought Sybil who smiled at her daughter to thank her for coming up with an answer which had evaded her. “Can we have that for our Thanksgiving?” Rosa wasn’t done. All the good thoughts Sybil had of her daughter evaporated in the strong sunlight. “I think that’s a good idea.” Sybil who hadn’t put her sunglasses back on yet, sat upright in her lounge chair. But before she could say anything Rosa shot her down. “Mummy you had the Foolish dinner which was chicken and eggs so you can’t say no.”

“Falasha,” corrected Sybil as she slowly lay back in her lounge chair completely deflated. She turned her head and looked at her husband needing his support, but none was forthcoming. This time it was different.

“Yes,” he said rather loudly, “I think that’s a great idea!”

“What’s a great idea?” they all turned their heads and saw their new neighbours the Buddhists walking along the beach towards them. The two children looked adorable in their bathing suits and their parents just had on their saffron feathers.

“Oh hello!” said George standing up. Sybil just waved her wing. Rosa, Timmy and Julia went over to Pawo and his family and hugged them.

“I hope you didn’t mind us barging in,” Pawo said, “I heard you say something was a good idea.”

“Having turducken for Thanksgiving,” said George.

Pawo and his wife laughed, “sounds delicious. Is it a vegetable from around here?”

“No,” replied Rosa with a straight face, no “it’s a chicken, stuffed up the backside of a duck, which is then stuffed up the backside of a turkey and then it’s cooked.”

The look of horror on the faces of Pawo and his wife were clearly visible. “Why don’t you children go off and have a swim with the three sandpipers,” Pawo didn’t want his children asking too many questions.

The two sparrows and three sandpipers ran towards the waves. The youngest sparrow, Choden, stopped and came running back, “I forget my rubber ducky,” he said and Pawo produced it for him. He then ran back to the others who had stopped and waited.

“Does it have a chicken in it?” asked Rosa chasing a wave as it washed out to sea.

“You have to forgive her,” said Julia. “I don’t know where our parents found her. The things she comes up with sometimes….”

Choden had dropped the rubber ducky and had run back to his parents.