“Am I reading that sign properly?” Steven asked the question of anyone and everyone who stopped to wonder why he was standing outside the large windows of the grocery store and not going inside. Needless to say, most thought him to be not quite there and kept their distance from him. But Steven was undeterred. He kept standing there, reading the large sign in the window over and over again. There were many advertisements displayed trying to lure prospective shoppers into their halls with the numerous sales. But those didn’t interest Steven. He was one of those shoppers who went into a grocery store with a list and never deviated from it. But this time was different.

“What are doing outside?” the voice was familiar. Not acknowledging his friend Adam he repeated his question.

“Which sign?” Steven was asked.

“That one, there!” replied Steven pointing to a large sign with big blue lettering on a plain white background, much larger than any of the others.

“The one about getting your flu shot?” asked Adam.

“Yes exactly!”

“Well what about it?” Adam was a little confused though he kind of understood what his friend was driving at.

“Doesn’t that sound odd to you?” Adam wanted his friend to expand and just shrugged his shoulders. “Well listen. Once upon a time you went to a grocery store for vegetables and fruit, meat you got from a butcher. Then they began to sell meat and put the butchers out of business. Now they sell wine and beer as well and will probably put those stores out of business and now and now.” Steven stopped, took a deep breath, “and now, instead of you going to a doctor for your flu shot, you come to your local grocery store. I can see it now. ‘Darling I’m going to get my flu shot.’ ‘Ok darling maybe I’ll come with you because I was this rash on my foot that hasn’t gone away. Maybe the doctor can prescribe something for it.’ ‘Maybe,’ I would answer, ‘I believe he set up his table between the last two freezer aisles.’”

“What would she say?”

“‘Well,’ I would answer, ‘I’m going to the grocery shop for my flu shop.’ She’ll think I’m daft wouldn’t she?”

Adam began to smile as he caught on to his friend’s drift. “Ha, ha, ha, you’re right. I guess it’s weird. Are you going in to shop?”

“Do you think they give a discount on the chicken if you get your flu shot?” Steven was on a roll. “Here you are Mr Smith the total today is $10, but if you get your flu shot then I can take a dollar off the total. It’s like coupons, isn’t it?”

“Adam was highly amused with his friend’s logic.”

“Maybe so,” he replied, “come on, let’s go in. I can’t stand out here for much longer before they take me away for some insane offence.”

The two men walked into the grocery store where they both got carts. Adam pulled out a sanitary wipe from a container by the door and wiped down the handle of his cart. He then offered it to Steven. “No thanks!” he replied indignantly, “why would I do that? Unless it can prevent me from getting leprosy.” Adam threw the wipe away and the two men entered the store only to be greeted by several flu shot signs. “Ok,” Steven had had enough, “you go ahead, I’m going to go to customer service.” Adam knew better than to ask his friend why.

“Hello, may I help you?” the woman of no determinable age asked.

“Yes, I want to know more about getting a flu shot.”

The woman began to beam. “Would you really?” she asked sounding delighted. “Well,” she continued not letting Steven answer, “once you’ve done with your shopping, you can come back here and I’ll give you the shot.”

“What are your qualifications for giving a shot?” a natural question to ask. “Did you go to medical school or nursing college?”

“No,” replied the woman sounding a little concerned.

“Then how do you know how to give the shot? I mean nothing against you, but do you know where to stick the needle?”

“Oh, I have a chart here with a bulls eye on it. All I have to do is make sure that I put it on your arm and then line these marks up. That’s all to it. Then I stick the needle I through the centre of the bullseye.”

“Do I get a discount on my groceries for letting you jab me?”

“No!” she replied emphatically, “there’s no discount.”

“Have many people had their shots yet?”

“You’d be the first,” she replied sounding enthusiastic again.

“I’d be the first person you jab?” Steven sounded concerned. “So tell me, what’s the advantage of you giving me the shot over going to say someone who’s spent 4 years in medical school and 8 years in practice?”

“I can’t answer your questions,” the woman finally said, “look, there’s a line behind you with people who have issues.” Steven turned around and looked at the line. There were about 5 people standing patiently behind him.

“Are you here to get your flu shots as well?” he asked and every single one vehemently shook their heads and answered his question with an assortment of normal grocery store questions. Steven thanked the woman whose countenance dropped noticeably, as she put the target paper away.

Steven went looking for Adam, who by this time had finished his small grocery list and was heading towards the cashier. “How did it go?” he asked.

“Well, if you’re expecting a discount on your groceries and that rather gorgeous looking cashier to give you your shot, you’re mistaken. Apparently, the woman behind the service desk jabs you.”

The rather pretty cashier smiled at Adam as he put his groceries on the belt. “It’s a pity you can’t give me my flu shot,” he said, “because I’d be the first in line!”

The young girl began to laugh. “Nah, you don’t want that, and you don’t what that battle axe giving you your shot. Go to your doctor.”

“I agree,” said Steven, “smart girl. I hope you’re going to medical school.”

“Actually, I am,” she replied. Steven smiled and bid his friend adieu so he would continue his shopping. “Your friend’s funny,” the cashier told Adam, “I like him.”

Adam for his part, felt a stupid pang of jealousy even though they were both married and the cashier was about 3 generations younger than either man. “Nah you don’t to mess with him, he’s sick in the head.”

“I can see that,” she replied picking up speed in her scanning.

“Are you really going to medical school?”

She let out a short sharp laugh which made Adam jump, “nah, no way. I can’t stand the sight of blood. Didn’t you notice when I just rang up your meat, I had to look away. I just said that because of what your friend said.” Adam smiled, paid and left.

Steven in the meantime kept repeating his question to everyone regardless of which side of the counter they were on. Finally, when he had finished shopping, he walked up to the cashier hoping it would be that young girl but alas, instead it was the woman from customer service who was helping out.

“Are you sure you don’t want your flu shot?” she asked sounding despondent.

“I’m positive,” and then Steven perked up, “question, do they pay you extra to give me a shot?” “Yea,” she replied, “an extra $20 per shot.”

“Ok you’re on. If you give me $10 of the $20, I’ll let you mutilate my body.”

The woman suddenly became serious, “I can’t do that!” she replied, “that’s unethical.”

To which Steven without putting much thought in it, replied, “and you playing doctor isn’t?”