Timmy’s Upcoming Bar Mitzvah

Moshe on the look out for the Blau family

“Mummy tells me you had one of the bagels Pawo’s wife baked.”

Rosa turned up her nose at the mention, while Timmy smiled and Julia replied, “yes dad they weren’t bad, but yours are much better.”

Something George liked to hear, obviously. “Why didn’t you like the bagels Rosa?”

“Well first of all, they had bugs all over them and who’s heard of a Buddhist baking bagels? They have to be Jewish……”

Her sentence was interrupted by her father and Timmy. “Not true! If you remember before we flew down from the New Jersey coast, there was a bagel shop that made really good bagels and I don’t believe they were Jewish.”

“Manhattan bagels?” asked Julia.

“No, that’s a chain but they were good. I’m talking about the one on the boardwalk in Atlantic City.”

“Yuck!” replied Rosa scrunching up her beak and holding her throat with both wings in her normal dramatic fashion.

“What are you doing?” George was always amused by his youngest daughter’s dramatics, but in this instance he wasn’t sure if she was talking about the same place he was, because if he remembered correctly, Rosa liked those bagels and was friendly with the owner’s daughter. “Are we talking about the same place?”

“Yes daddy. White Rose Bagel Shop.”

“Right but I thought you liked those bagels and they were good.”

“Daddy, daddy, daddy, listen to me, this is very important. I only pretended to like those bagels because Rita was in class with me and her father was in the Mafia.”

George laughed. Timmy who was very used to the dramatics of his youngest sibling replied, “and there you have it daddy, in perfect Rosa style.”

“By the way, before I forget, you’re going to be thirteen this year. We need to plan for your Bar Mitzvah.” George doubled as the rabbi in that area of North Topsail, and he felt that Timmy wouldn’t want to use his father as the teacher, and now that he and Melanie Krupnick had broken up, it never really got off the ground, he thought that he should contact Moshe and ask if he could suggest someone. The Falasha community didn’t currently have a rabbi and were trying to get George to fill the position, something he had turned down because of the distance.

“How about going to Jerusalem daddy? I’d love to have my Bar Mitzvah at the Western Wall.”

“And so would I but,” George hurriedly added before the two girls said anything about meeting nice Jewish boys, “but it’s a long distance to fly.”

“We can get a plane daddy,” Timmy responded not knowing why they always had to fly themselves wherever they went. George wasn’t sure of the correct response, so he said he would discuss it with their mother.

Sybil needlessly to say rolled her eyes at the suggestion adding, “we don’t have the money, George. You know when we go long distances, I like to fly business class.”

“But it’s our son’s Bar Mitzvah, honey.”

No, Sybil did not want to hear that term of endearment because she knew what was coming next. So, she shut that down before it began by replying. “George, that’s final. Plenty and in fact most of the Jews in America don’t go to Israel for their Bar or Bat Mitzvah you know that.”

“But Shelley…..” at the very mention of her prior best friend’s name who ended up marrying a Jewish chicken from a neighbouring farm and a very wealthy farm at that, had taken their son and their three daughters to Jerusalem for their Bar and Bat Mitzvahs.

“You know George never to repeat Shelley’s or in fact the name of her husband in this nest ever again.” George shrugged his shoulders never knowing the real reason why they had had a falling out some years ago. It was something to do with selling unwashed eggs, Sybil believing they were dirty.

Timmy expected the answer he got and put his arm around his father’s shoulder, “why don’t we call Moshe and in fact, I really don’t mind if you give me instructions, dad.” But George felt Moshe would be better idea.

“Absolutely!” roared Moshe over the phone, “not me, but Benny would be perfect and maybe we can talk about going to Jerusalem, oh I’m sorry I forget no Jerusalem. Anyway, Benny would be great and you haven’t met his family because if you remember for Rosh Hashanah dinner his wife and daughters were sick.” Yes, George remembered that very well. “Ok good it’s settled then. In fact,” continued Moshe not believing that anything was settled until he said it was. “In fact, why don’t you all come over for dinner on Friday night so you can finally meet Benny’s wife, and oh you should taste the bagels she makes. The best! Learned it from her mother you know, back in the old country.”

So, it was settled. On Friday the entire Blau family, with the exception of Elizabeth and Jeremy who were upset they weren’t being considered as close family, flew over to Sneads Ferry to Moshe’s house where they met Benny’s family for the first time.

“And this is Leah,” said Sarah, Benny’s wife introducing her three daughters, “and Hadassah and finally my youngest, who in fact is the same age as your Timmy and will be having her Bat Mitzvah in July, Lena.” As she mentioned each name, they walked out to greet everyone from behind a shroud strategically placed over the doorway. There was dead silence when Lena made her appearance. Timmy’s beak fell open. Rosa noticed that and was about to point to it when Sybil, ever on guard, grabbed her pretending to hug her.

“Later, Rosa,” she whispered and smiled at everyone. Timmy was floored. He had never seen such a beautiful Jewish bird before.

“Dad,” he said quietly as Lena who was floored as well at seeing Timmy, “when I become 13, doesn’t that mean I’m a man in Judaism?”

“Yes,” replied George and then immediately realised why he was asked the question. Rosa grinned from behind her mother’s wing.

Julia smiled and broke the silence. “I understand you make the best bagels in the world!” Sarah then realised as well, what was going on.

“Yes,” replied George quietly, “but here in America you need your parents’ permission and we aren’t going to give you that.”

Timmy’s face fell. Rosa who by then had managed to escape her mother’s grasp shouted, “can I be your flower girl, bell ringer, ring bearer sorry, when you get married? Please, please, please. I’ve always wanted to do that.”

Lena’s face had turned a deep shade of red and Timmy who wanted to instinctively jump to her defence, instead bit his tongue and knew his father was right.

“Who’s getting married?” asked Benny believing that somehow he had been missing when the greatest news of all time was announced.

“If I were Ashkenazi,” replied Moshe, “I would say oy vey, where have you been. But being that I’m not and I’m one of the not so lost tribes anymore, I’ll say look at your daughter Lena and now look at George’s son Timmy. Do you notice something?”

“Ha, ha, ha,” laughed Benny, “yes, yes, yes, they both have a Bar and Bat Mitzvah this year. So, we can cut on costs and have two for one!”

“Oy vey,” replied Moshe, “let’s eat dinner.”