The Affair, Part Two

Bruce took a deep breath. He knew it was now or never. He had to begin the conversation which would eventually lead to a different outcome from the past. As difficult as it would be, and he knew that in his heart of hearts he didn’t really want to do it, but he knew he had to. Virginia’s hands were still resting on his. She apparently hadn’t either noticed the difference in or ignored the difference but in the past he would have pulled her closer or held her hands tighter, but he hadn’t this time.

He squeezed his eyes closed. Virginia was still looking at him sadly. He pulled his hands away from hers, though she kept hers exactly where they were. “You can stay here tonight, but unfortunately….

“I know,” she interrupted him sadly, “you don’t need to say anything more. I know I’ve overstayed my welcome.”

Bruce felt defensive. “Well, I won’t say that, but each time you left I promised myself it would be the last time. And each time we got back together and each time we got closer, you then pulled away and left again.” Bruce realised that the strength he found was new to him and he hoped and prayed he didn’t come across as either mean or rude. He knew she had an issue that needed to be addressed. He knew he had suggested in the past that she go to a therapist, but she had declined his offer.

Virginia looked down at the couch and lowered her eyes, as if she was expecting Bruce to tell her she had to leave or he would drop her off somewhere, but he didn’t. “You can stay here tonight,” he reiterated, “but where will you go in the morning?”

“Earlier this evening I told Rebecca I would be leaving Jack’s tonight and I would be going over to her place. But one thing led to another and it got very late. So, I decided to come here first and then go there in the morning. Bruce…..” she said and then stopped for a second. “I wish I had taken you up on your offer to get help, but I didn’t. I just thought I was confused and that things would work themselves out. I never had a great opinion of myself and it seems that throughout my life I have chosen the wrong types of men and shunned men like you.” Bruce instinctively moved his hands towards hers but stopped before he touched them. “I was always drawn to men who would reinforce in me what a bad person I thought I was. I was very uncomfortable deep down inside being with men or anyone actually who could see the better parts of me. And that’s why when things became uncomfortable here, which was when we began to get very close that I had to leave. I’m sorry……”

Bruce shook his head. He didn’t want to hear anymore negativism. “Don’t. I want my memories of you to be of the times when we were at our best. When he travelled the world together. When we went out to dinner. The first time I took you to a fancy restaurant because you had never been to one. I was amused at how scared you were. You were shaking in the beginning because you were afraid you were going to embarrass me and how you turned out to be the nicest and most sophisticated dinner date I’ve ever had. Even just sitting here on the couch curled up together with fire roaring, those are the memories I want to remember. Those are the memories I cherish the most, and those are the memories I want to keep above all else.” Virginia let out a short laugh which surprised Bruce.

“Yes, I remember that dinner so well. It was probably the highlight of my life. Thank you for memories like that.” She laughed again slightly. “I remember when the waitress asked me if I wanted to take the crab cake home and when I told her yes, she took my plate away and I turned to you and said I want to take that with me and you told me that they wrap it for me. I’ve never been to a restaurant that does that. So, thank you for always thinking of me as a lady. Much more than I ever thought of myself.”

For a moment Bruce felt himself giving in and he stopped his train of thought. “Yes of course you can stay here tonight. And then in the morning I’ll take you over to your sister’s home.”

Every time in the past, when Virginia returned to Bruce’s after her disappearance she had insisted that she sleep in the spare room, but inevitably during the night had slid into his bed and they had curled up together and fallen asleep. But he was determined that that wouldn’t happen this time. But he wasn’t sure how. He didn’t want to lock his bedroom door because he was afraid that Virginia might be insulted and so he decided not to change anything and leave his door open. He had a feeling she wouldn’t slide into his bed later that night. He wasn’t sure why, but this time things seemed a little different. Virginia wasn’t her usual bouncy self. Her hands were a little colder than they usually were, though he put that down to the rainy weather and the trauma she had probably lived through earlier that evening. Her black eye, and the slight bruising he had noticed on her upper body when he helped her change out of her wet clothes and wrapped her in the towels. They were different. He was glad she was going to go to her sister’s the next day. Maybe she could do what he couldn’t and that was keep her away from Jack. He hated that man. He hated him from the very first time he met him. He was a low life and that wasn’t because he had taken Virginia away from him, but because of the way he behaved. Bruce could never understand the power he had over her. It was an abusive power, but it seemed to draw her back to him time and time again.

Bruce looked at his watch, it was getting late. “Are you ready to go to bed?” he asked and she shook her head.

“No, not just yet if that’s ok with you. I want to spend as much time with you tonight. I know that we will probably never see each other again and so I just want to stay up later, if that’s ok with you.”

What was Bruce to say? He could stay up later even though he was very tired. But he knew what she said was right. He knew he would never see her again once he dropped her off at her sister’s home. “Yes, of course we can. Aren’t you hungry?” he asked and again she shook her head.

She looked up at him. “Do you mind if you hold me for a few minutes. I just want to be held by you.” Bruce didn’t answer but smiled and opened his arms. She slid into them as she had done so many times before. They both closed their eyes and Bruce leaned back as Virginia laid her head on his chest.

“You’re still very cold,” he whispered. Virginia didn’t answer and just snuggled up closer to him.