Saturday Dinner at the Blaus

Tali Plotnick

There was cause for much consternation in the Blau household.

It all began the day before when George in a panic flew up to his wife Sybil who after recovering from her prolonged illness, wished to make sure she left her impression on everything, including Julia’s cooking, much to the disappointment of the others in the Blau household.

“Darling, darling!” George shouted as he skidded to a stop on the greasy kitchen floor, courtesy of his wife who didn’t use a splatter guard when trying to deep fry some knishes against her eldest daughter’s instance that they were to be shallow fried. Sybil knew better. Sybil always knew better, even when Sybil knew she didn’t know better, but that was of little concern to her. Whenever she heard her husband of many years call her darling, her radar went up in the belief he was coming to her to resolve an issue which only she could resolve, whether she could resolve it or not was of no concern.” Darling!” he yelped as he skidded on the kitchen floor and knocked over Julia who was holding on to the counter for dear life. “Sorry Julia. What’s all over the floor?” he asked and then rolled his eyes realising the answer was very apparent. Sybil was not amused.

“What’s the matter with you George?” she asked, “getting old? You can’t keep your balance?” George wisely ignored her question. “Look,” he said holding out his iPhone, “I got a text message from one of the Falashas. They are coming over for dinner tomorrow night and are bringing Chaim Plotnick and his family with them.”

Sybil shook her head. Having just recovered from what she believed was the closest she had ever been to the plague, the last thing she wanted was a house full of visitors. George could tell by Sybil’s expression that she was nowhere nearly as overjoyed as he was.

“Why aren’t you happy?” he asked.

“Happy?” Sybil began putting her wings on her waist, “happy, how can I be happy? Look at this place. It’s a mess and I have to clean it all up.”

Julia was about to interject but George having been through these sorts of episodes in the past knew what was coming next and shook his head briefly. That was a sign to Julia to keep her beak shut, which she did. It was up to George to resolve and convince his wife that this was a great idea.

“Is the Rabbi coming as well?” it was Timmy who had been in his room playing quietly with his Legos, but whose interest was piqued when he heard the name Chaim Plotnick. George looked down at his iPhone, but then had to stretch out his right wing and keep hold of his phone as Timothy was about to skid on the greasy floor and land on his mother. The thought of that sent shivers down everyone’s spines.

“It doesn’t say anything about Rabbi Krupnick,” said George, “and anyway, why would we want two Rabbis in the same house at the same time?”

But the question which was directed to Timmy was answered by Julia, “because of Melanie, dad. Timmy’s girlfriend.”

George smirked at his son. “I didn’t think you were going to go out with her anymore.”

But as usual, it was Rosa who had just flown in from playing outside in the sand looking for shells, to save the day. “Dad that’s because Timmy wants to make sure that Melanie Krupnick isn’t going to be here so he can hit on the Plotnick girl.”

“Hit on!” repeated everyone.

“Where do you get such language from young lady?” asked her mother.

“The Bachelorette programme Mummy. They say that on there all the time.”

“The Bachelorette programme?” repeated Sybil turning to look at her husband, “is that what they’ve been watching while I was sick?”

George just shrugged his shoulders. “I didn’t think it was that bad.”

“Obviously it is George. I’m amazed at you. Hit on hmm. What will you say next?”

“Sorry Mummy,” replied Rosa, “I meant that if Melanie isn’t here, then Timmy can, can, you know err talk to,” and then she turned to Timmy, “you don’t even know her name.”

“Yes I do!” replied an insulted Timmy.

“Ok then what is it?” Timmy turned to Julia who just shrugged her shoulders. It then dawned on them that the other day when Chaim Plotnick’s daughter came out of the back and was introduced to them, they were all so star struck that when he mentioned her name they had forgotten it.

“Rivka,” it was Max who had just flown in from home and was about to land on the floor until he was warned not to. He stayed on the window ledge.

“No, Rivka is her mother’s name.”

“Oh, that’s who I thought you were talking about.”

“No, we are trying to remember the daughter’s name.”

“That’s easy. Tali,” he replied shrugging his shoulders, “how come you don’t remember?” There was no answer. “Anyway guys, I just came to tell you that a new family bought the next door nest to ours.”

“Jews?” asked Rosa innocently.

“No Buddhists,” replied Max. The rest looked at each other.

“Who are Buddies whatever?” asked Rosa. Max just shrugged his shoulders.

“I’ve no idea. That’s what the realtors told my dad. He asked if they were Catholic, but he told him they were Buddhists, because they wanted to know if there was a temple anywhere close by.”

“And is there?” asked Timmy. Max didn’t know and neither did anyone else.

“They can come to our temple,” replied Rosa, “I think all temples are the same.” That statement of course was met with a chuckle.

“No Rosa dear,” replied her father, “there are all sorts of temples. So, a Jewish temple won’t be good for them, I don’t think.”

“Maybe we can invite them as well!”

“Max,” replied George immediately sensing a problem, “on Saturday the Falashas and Chaim Plotnick and their families are coming over for dinner. I think it’s only right that you and your parents come over as well.”

“Together with the buddies,” added Rosa.

“Ha, ha, ha,”: George began to laugh, “I can see it now. Maybe we should invite Stephanie over as well.”

“Why would we do that?” asked Sybil trying to find her way back into the conversation. “She’s a reporter.”

“Well Jeremey likes her.”

“Jeremey likes anything in a skirt,” replied Sybil.

“Is that why Elizabeth always wears bell bottom pants, Mummy?” asked Rosa knowing full well what she was saying. They all ignored her.

“Well Stephanie is a reporter for the North Topsail Sunshine Daily. Maybe it would be a scoop for her. I can see it now,” continued George, “Saturday dinner at the Blau family home with Catholics, Jews and Buddhists. Very cool, I think I’ll go with that.”

There was a ding. George looked at his iPhone. “I’m going to take that damn thing away from you one day,” warned Sybil, but George ignored her.

He laughed, “so it appears that there will be two Rabbis under the same roof on the same day after all.”

“I think I’m busy on Saturday,” said Timmy grabbing hold of Max’s wing and pushing him out of the window as the two of them flew off into the bright blue yonder.