Rosa wants a farm

Timmy told Rosa if she looked hard enough she could see Africa

“Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” Shouted Rosa running out on to the deck where she stood next to her father as he lay on his chair reading the Sandpit Times. “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” Rosa repeated, “can you buy me a farm?”

George turned, lowered his sunglasses and looked at his youngest daughter. “Good afternoon, young lady,” he said calmly pretending he didn’t hear Rosa’s request. But Rosa wasn’t having any of it. She stood there with her wings holding onto the side of the lounge chair rocking on her feet. She wasn’t going anywhere until she had heard the answer she expected from George.

George for his part looked up at Sybil who stood in the doorway to the dining room with her wings on her hips, with that patented evil smile George knew so well. “Did you give Rosa the idea of buying a farm?” he asked.

But all Sybil replied was, “she’s your daughter. You can answer her questions,” and with that, she stepped back into the dining room and closed the sliding glass door quietly behind her. George was now looking directly at his youngest daughter and thought quickly as to how he could diffuse her latest request. “Why do you want a farm, Rosa? We would have to give up all this beautiful sand and the sound of the ocean and….”

“Daddy! Daddy! Daddy is that a, yes?”

What was poor old George going to do? It wasn’t as if he hadn’t been placed in this position before. He knew he had a choice. He could either say yes and not mean it or say yes and mean it. However, he still needed to know why Rosa wanted to live on a farm. “Why a farm? You need to answer that question first, before I say yes or no.”

Rosa for her part knew this song and dance routine very well. She knew that it was only a matter of time before her father gave into her request. “Well,” replied Rosa still rocking on her feet while holding on to her father’s chair, “well daddy, Noah had a farm.”

Oh, did Rosa make a mistake? George grinned slightly. He was now on firmer ground. After all, he was the local rabbi amongst other things. “No, Rosa. Noah didn’t have a farm. He had an ark.”

“That’s the same thing, isn’t it daddy?”

“No, young lady, it’s not the same thing. An ark is a boat, while a farm is not a boat.” He felt good about his answer, but that was until Rosa had the perfect rebuttal.

“Daddy, I don’t understand, don’t animals live on a farm?”

“Yes,” replied George slightly confused.

“And didn’t Noah have animals?”

“Yes he did.”

“So, daddy, an ark and a farm are the same thing.”

A slightly better argument for George to reply to. “No Rosa dear. An ark is like a boat, while a farm isn’t!” He checked himself. That sounded incredibly infantile, but he had no choice. He gulped.

He knew where Rosa was going to take this, “well daddy, can I have a boat then with all the animals on it?”

What was George going to say? “Let me talk to your mother about it,” he offered hoping to go back to his newspaper.

“Talk about what?” asked Sybil who had silently opened the sliding glass doors because she was watching her husband squirm from inside. It was delightful scene to her.

“Rosa wants a boat.”

“With animals on it, mummy.”

“I think that’s a great idea,” replied Sybil enjoying the moment.

Rosa stopped rocking and turned to face her mother. “Thank you mummy,” she said running and hugging her. Could it be, wondered Sybil that Rosa was becoming her favourite? Is that all it takes? But as soon as she had finished hugging her mother she let go and went back to her father. It was only he who could make her dreams come true. George wanted to go back to his newspaper. He had been interrupted in the middle of an interesting article on the art of making sushi.

“Yes of course, my dear,” he replied picking up his paper. “If your mother says we can have an ark, then who am I to disagree with her. Sybil darling,” George looked at his wife who suddenly was beginning to regret what she had said. “Sybil darling, why don’t you fly into Snead’s Ferry with Rosa and see if you can find any arks for sale?”

“Let’s go, mummy,” replied Rosa. Sybil moved backwards as she tried to grab her mother’s wing.

“Well, we can’t go just yet. Dinner will be ready soon and I know Julia has prepared an absolutely wonderful feast.”

“What’s that?” asked Rosa who wanted to know if it was a good reason to postpone her ark buying trip.

“I don’t know,” replied Sybil, “you know Julia. She won’t allow me into the kitchen, but it does smell wonderful.”

Rosa wasn’t convinced. She squeezed by her mother and walked into the kitchen where Julia was standing over the stove with a wooden ladle in her hand. “What’s for dinner, sis?” she asked.

Julia looked at her and shook her head. Rosa had never called her sis before. “Chicken stew,” she lied.

“So mummy is wrong, as usual,” replied Rosa getting ready to leave the kitchen and confront her mother.

“No, no, Rosa, it’s not chicken stew. It’s matzo ball soup and gefilte fish.”

Rosa’s face lit up and then collapsed. “Who made the matzo balls? Not mummy, right?” Sybil’s one and only time attempt at making matzo balls ended up with them being thrown at the seagulls, severely injuring some because they were so heavy.

“Actually, Elizabeth did. She had been taught by her mother who learnt it from her mother back in the old country.”

“Would you like a farm, Julia?” asked Rosa not quite sure where she was going with the last question.

“I would love a farm. That would be so cool. Even Melody would like a farm.”

And with that, Rosa ran out of the kitchen and on to the deck where her parents were quietly discussing the latest bout of chaos in the nest. “Julia would like a farm, daddy,” she just told me. Sybil was saved. She grinned her evil grin at her husband. She didn’t need to go to Snead’s Ferry and look for an ark. A quest she knew would end up in failure and more importantly, be viewed as her fault. “Even Melody would like a farm,” added Rosa when she saw the look on her father’s face.

“No, I wouldn’t!” Melody heard her name called from under the nest where she was taking a cat nap. “I don’t want to live on a farm. Not when I can live on the beach. Do you know how many people would die to live on a beach and have nothing between them and Africa? Look at all this open space. No sunbathers. Only a few seagulls that haven’t been killed yet, but it’s only a matter of time before that happens, and you want to leave all this and live on a farm?”

“Dinner’s ready,” they heard Julia shout from inside the dining room. Without saying another word, the Blau family turned and went indoors leaving Melody to continue her soliloquy outside.

“See what happens,” Rosa had to have the final word, “see what happens when you don’t agree with me, mummy and daddy. All hell breaks loose.”

The others looked at each other and then at Rosa who wasn’t sure if she had overstepped her bounds. And then suddenly they all broke out in laughter.

“Dinner is served,” said Julia between bouts of uncontrollable laughter.