Moshe and Benne

Moshe and Benne approach Stacey the non binary Seagull

“What happened to you? You look like you were in the war.” A question directed to Max when Julia Timmy and Max came out of Chaim’s Jewish Deli and walked into the bright, warm sunshine, and had as suggested by Chaim turned left to the taxi stand.

“Well kind of,” replied Max, whose normally pristine feathers were somewhat ruffled.

“Oy vey!” replied one of the two crows standing next to an old dilapidated looking car with the word, ‘TAXI,’ scratched into the paint.

“What happened, tell us? asked the seemingly more aggressive of the two crows.

“I had a fight with a few seagulls,” he replied, “it was nothing.”

“Nothing!” repeated the other crow, “I know about nothing, and that’s not nothing. That’s pretty serious stuff.”

“And believe me, he knows about serious stuff,” added the first crow. “Moshe here was in the Israeli Special Forces. He knows about nothing.”

“Are you looking for a ride somewhere?” asked Moshe.

“Yes,” replied Julie and then explained their dilemma.

“Well,” Moshe bowed, “we are here for your taking.”

“You can choose one of our taxis or get an Uber, but they aren’t very reliable,” added the other crow, “oh, by the way, my name is Benjamin. But please call me Benny.”

“Hi Benny,” replied all three in unison.

“I tell you what. We are going off shift soon, so why don’t all three of you get in the back of Moshe’s taxi and the two of us will take you home. You need to get there soon if you want to get there before sundown.”

“Oh dear! Is it really that late?” asked Julia sounding upset that she wouldn’t be able to get dinner ready in time.

“Well, it’s about two o’clock, so let’s go.” All five of them got into the old car which finally coughed into action after a second time of trying to start it. “How many times have I told you your car needs to be serviced, Moshe?”

He looked back at his passengers and grinned, “Benny here keeps picking on me. I guess that’s what older brothers are for.” He looked at Timmy, “is he your older brother?” he asked nodding at Max.

“No Max is my best friend, we’re not related.”

“Oh good!” replied Moshe, “older brothers are a pain in the….” he stopped for a second and then added after sheepishly grinning at Julia, “in the you know what.”

“I have a younger sister,” said Julia and Moshe who had finally got the car into gear looked in the rear-view mirror.

“What’s her name?” asked Benny.

“Rosa,” replied Julia proud of her ability to hold a conversation with strangers.

“Rosa, that’s a pretty name. Rosa, Rosa, Rosa,” repeated Moshe, “oh what I would I give to have a wife named Rosa.”

“What’s your wife’s name?” asked Julia, now really pleased that she wasn’t as shy as she normally was.

“Ruth,” he replied.

“Great name,” replied Timmy thinking he could make his mark with the two crows and then he could tell his friends he had met Falashas.

“That’s what I tell him,” replied Benny, “but Moshe wanted Sarah because in the Torah, Sarah is married to Moshe.”

“No, she wasn’t!” replied Timmy quickly, “Sarah was married to Abraham. Moses was married to Zipporah.”

“That’s ten dollars you owe me,” said a joyful Benny.

“What’s that?” asked Timmy confused.

“It’s a skit we do. Whenever we meet two new people we do this. If they are able to catch the mistake then I get ten dollars if not then he gets ten dollars.”

The children were confused but didn’t press the issue. “So, your wife’s name is Ruth?”

The two crows laughed, “no, no, Moshe is married to Miriam. My wife’s name is Ruth.”

“Oh she was a wonderful woman,” replied a jubilant Timmy, glad he was able to catch their mistake. “You should meet his wife. She’s a wonderful woman too.”

“A great cook and baker,” added Moshe. “She always makes Shabbat dinner. Say, maybe we can invite you over one Shabbat.”

“We would love that!” the children replied in unison. “What about Max though?”

“He can come too.”

“But he’s not Jewish.”

“He’s not?” they both asked in unison, “ok I’ll have my ten dollars back.”

This was getting confusing for the three children. “What was that bet about?” asked Timmy feeling he was now closest to them.

“Moshe always thinks he can spot a Jew from a mile off and he thought all of you were Jewish. I told him Max didn’t look Jewish, but he didn’t want to believe me. So, he lost.”

Suddenly the car came to a screeching halt nearly putting the three children in the front seat. “Tell me, is that one of the seagulls who tried to hurt you?”

Immediately the three in the back seat looked out of the window. “Yes, he is,” replied Max.

Moshe looked at Benny and then without another word they both jumped out, but Moshe had to jump right back in because he forgot to put the car in park. Once done, he jumped out and joined his brother. Together they walked up to the seagull.

“Tell me something,” Moshe said menacingly to the seagull who looked up frightened. “Why were you picking on the children?”

“They blew up my brother and sister,” the seagull replied surrendering.

“How?” asked Benny.

“By feeding them baking soda.”

Suddenly both Moshe and Benny fell over with laughter and the seagull stood there watching the spectacle. A few seconds later they got up, wiped their eyes and said, “so it does work. I’ve heard about that but thought it was bull…… you know what.”

“No unfortunately not,” replied the seagull, “in fact I’m on my way to their funerals.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” replied Benny, “but you must’ve done something bad to deserve that.”

The seagull looked offended for a second then asked, “why are you taking their side?”

“Because we’re Jewish,” replied Moshe.

“Black Jews?” the seagull was confused.

“Yes, what about it? Have you never heard of Falashas?”

“No,” the seagull wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry.”

“Yes, we trace our heritage back to King David.”

“Never heard of him,” the seagull answered immediately, “is he your king or something?”

“Guys we’re getting late,” Julia shouted, “I still have to cook.”

“Ok,” replied Moshe walking closer to the seagull, “what’s your name?”

“Stacey,” the seagull replied.

“Stacey?” asked Benny, “is that a boy or girl?”

“I’m nonbinary,” Stacey replied.

Moshe looked at Benny and they both shrugged their shoulders. “We have to go now, but in future you leave us Jews alone.” The seagull gulped and agreed.

The two got back in the taxi and soon they were rolling down the dunes towards North Topsail.

“I’ll tell you what. Because it’s so late and you haven’t cooked dinner yet, why don’t we go back get Benny’s taxi come to your house and collect everyone and you can come to our place for dinner.” “What do you think?” asked Julie of Timmy.

“One of our family members is a slip and fall attorney,” said Timmy.

“Can we leave him behind?” asked Moshe.

“It’s a girl, but I don’t know what our parents will say.”

“What does your father do?”

“He has his own lumber company….” and then Timmy had an idea, “but he’s also a Rabbi.”

“A real Rabbi?” asked Moshe sounding upbeat, “or like that Krupnick guy.”

“Oh no, real.”

“Great!” shouted Benny, “we’ve been looking for a real Rabbi.”