“Look Ma!”

“Rosa! Get out of the water at once. How many times have I told you that you’ll catch a cold. You still, after all the lessons I’ve given you, haven’t learnt to chase the wave as it’s going out to catch your lunch and not stand there looking foolish while the waves wash over your feet.”

“But Ma, it’s not like that.”

“Oh, good heavens! Where is your father when I need? Jeremy, Jeremy, tell your niece to get out of the water at once.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes, “Rosa,” he said sounding incredibly disinterested, “do as your mother says.”

“I’m trying to tell you I can’t. Something’s got a hold of my feet.”

“Oh good heavens! Why didn’t you say something before? Jeremy, Jeremy, go in and help your niece.”

Jeremy looked up at me. “See what I have to put up with.”

I smiled, “she’s a typical Jewish mother, what can I say.”

“It’s ok. Let me help you out of there.” Max shook his head, “another Jewish athlete!” And with that, he waited until the water Rosa was standing in rushed out and he immediately saw the problem, as did Jeremy without moving a leg.

“Oy vey!” sighed Jeremy. “Rosa nothing has a hold of your feet. You must’ve been standing there when a wave washed over them and a twig landed on your feet. Just lift one up and you’ll see the twig float away.”

Max hadn’t moved. He looked dejected, “just when I thought I could help.”

“You like Rosa, don’t you?”

“Nah! She’s too young for me,” he then grunted playfully, “plus she’s a real JSP.”

“JSP?” I asked not knowing what that stood for.

He looked at me as if I was from another world. “Yea, JSP. Jewish Sandpiper Princess.”

I couldn’t help myself laughing. “No silly! It isn’t JSP, it’s JAP. Jewish American Princess.” “Whatever,” he replied, “sounds like the same thing.”

“Why do you think Rosa is a JAP?”

“Really? You want me to show you? Look at her standing there in less than a quarter of an inch of water and she thinks she’s drowning. That’s what I call a JSP or whatever the other thing is. She will require so much maintenance when she grows up. No way! Ah, ah. I don’t want part of that.” He paused for a second. “On the other hand, she is pretty.”

“You do know if you did get married to Rosa any chicks you have will be Jewish.”

“Nooo! Can’t have that. The Pope won’t be happy. When we go for our marriage lectures you have to promise to raise the chicks as Catholic.”

“And Martha will be ok with that?”

“Where’s Timmy?” Max by now had turned away from Rosa and was peering around for his friend.

“I’m here,” replied Timmy from a bushy undergrowth. “I’m fighting a worm for world domination right now. I’ll be with you in a minute.”

“Need any help?” he asked prepared to jump in and help his friend.

“Nah,” replied Timmy nonchalantly, “I’m nearly done.”

A moment later he appeared with a six inch worm hanging out of his beak.

“Is that for me?” asked Rosa who was now back standing on the dry sand.

“Nah sis it’s all mine.”

“Ma!” shouted Rosa, “Timmy won’t share. Tell him to share. You tell me I have to share. Ma?” But her words fell on deaf ears because everybody had flown away.